Men often suffer from low self esteem when they have wrong perceptions of what a real man should measure to. The ideal man is usually perceived to be tall, strong, handsome, successful, independent, intelligent and able to fix things (either physical things like machines, or situations). He's the hero who stands up for what he believes in and protects those weaker than himself.
When someone has such grand ideals, it is easy also to see how one could fall short of them. If he has been brought up to believe in the hero myth and then he turns out to be shorter than average, small in the genital area or too clumsy to fix a shelf, he may feel he is not acceptable as a man. But, not all hope is lost, and one can certainly change perception if his beliefs about human beings change.
In reality, most men do not fit the image of the perfect guy. So, how come it is easier for some men compared to others, to accept the fact that they will never be the ideal man?
The problem is often rooted in childhood. As children we assimilate the responses that are fed to us and we internalize them as our own perceptions. It is nearly impossible for a kid to maintain his own perspective on a certain situation.
Young kids tend to assume that whatever their parents believe is right, for example. So if the parents seem to believe that their kid is lacking in some way, he will grow up believing that too. The child very quickly omits the fact that what he is beginning to believe is nothing but his parents' perception. Valuing himself low has become part of his world view.
It is good to know that even in some of the harshest cases, self esteem can be raised. Here are some simple steps that you can take to help yourself out of the rut.
Understand that everyone is different, and there is no perfect image one should follow.
Comparing yourself with other men is pointless. Everyone is an unique masterpiece, and not one person is more valuable than any other.
Come up with goals you can stick with. Break them down step by step and keep doing the steps until you get there. Even small successes can make a difference to how you feel about yourself.
Try to become aware of when you are using words like can't, should, must, either in speech or in thought. Some of these words are indicative of the fact that you don't think you are where you should be. Instead, give yourself permission to do things or not.
Low feelings of self worth take you to a lower and lower self esteem. And besides, doesn't the perfect man have confidence to sell? If you have low self esteem you have yet another reason to feel low about yourself. If you are a man suffering from low self esteem, you should seek help as soon as possible, before things get completely out of hand.
Access some of the best self help books online. Our ever growing inventory includes a number of books that can help you learn about change your life.
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