When it comes to low self esteem children can suffer a great deal. They come to believe that they are valueless. Children overcome with those feelings often escalate to getting depressed, and they sometimes act mean and aggressive. So what is low self esteem and why does it affect so many children?
It is very easy for children to feel as if they are not as good as other people. That's probably because children depend on their environment to get information for their survival, and they base their perceptions on the perception of people around them. They are very affected by what people around think about them.
It is very easy for kids that are left behind, abused or alienated from their families or from social groups to develop a low self esteem. Other people's views become internalized so that the child believes in them and comes to put a low value on himself or herself.
After these wrong perceptions are assimilated, they are harder to remove. If moving the child to a healthier environment could have been enough in the beginning, before the perception had anchored, it is no longer enough, as the perception has become the child's own. Sadly, the child with low self esteem whom is placed in a healthier environment, tends to believe that the new people in his life will only like him until they discover his real self.
Unfortunately, this belief is carried on to adulthood, and it can affect the person's whole life. They may spend their time trying to cover up who they really are because they do not expect their real self to be accepted. Or, they might end up engaging in situations that will reinforce their low self value.
The best thing to do is to help children with low self esteem as soon as one can. Parents and teachers can work together to show the child that even if he can't excel at some things other kids excel at, he is still good and worthy.
Children thrive when other people are interested in what they feel and think. Watch out for negativity, especially when they are talking about themselves. If they are being negative on themselves, avoid pointing that out, since that can trigger even worse negative feelings.
You can ask them if that is truly what they think of themselves. For example, imagine that your child tells you that her teacher thought she was drawing a dog when it was supposed to be a cat and follows that up by saying, "I'm hopeless at art." Is her teacher's mistake really that bad that she is assuming she has no artistic skills? What would be her suggestion if something similar happened to her friend?
Expressing judgment on something the child has experienced will not increase their chances of dealing well with that experience. Accept that their experience of the world is valid, but help them understand that there is not one fixed way of seeing things. This can help low self esteem children to open up and see that they are acceptable even if they show what they really feel.
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